Wait a second...did you say brotherly...affection?

I recently listened to a sermon by pastor Josh Harris at Covenant Life Church. (He is also the author of those books about dating, which apparently, are supposed to be a kind of a big deal.) Since Harris has typecast himself as "the dating guy" (sort of how Robin Williams has been typecast in funny, goofy roles), I expected him to talk about dating. I guess this sermon was Josh Harris's One Hour Photo, except without the creepy photo guy. (Do you think I have enough hyperlinks?)

Most of his message was really not new to me. He began with Romans chapter 12, which urges Christians to view their bodies as living sacrifices. Then he went ahead to verse 9, which reads, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." Harris explained that Christians should not act loving merely to put on a show, but rather, love people sincerely, as verse 9 urges. (Upon further reflection, he actually tied in a lot of this stuff to dating. He mentioned the tendency of some singles in his church to appear to love other people in order to attract possible spouses.) Continuing with his discussion on male-female relations, he read 1 Timothy 5:2, in which Paul urges Timothy to treat "younger women as sisters". These are all familiar verses which I have heard a few times. Then it got weird.

Harris read Romans 12:10, which says that Christians should "love one another with brotherly affection." Whoa, hold the phones. Did he say affection? He said that I should be affectionate toward everyone in my church, including young women. My usual approach toward young women has been to treat them with the basic civility and respect that everyone deserves, but not much more. (In other words, talk to them if they talk to me.) Part of the reason for not making the connection between affection and treating young women as sisters may be that I usually read the NIV, which uses the words "brotherly love", rather than "brotherly affection". Sadly, I am also not especially close to my sister, and the only real friendships I have had with young women have been with the ones that I have dated. Even with wives and girlfriends of my friends, anything beyond basic civility and respect has been for the sake of my friend.

The word "affection" seems to be a bit of a sticky wicket. For most of my life, I have assumed that love consists of actions, not merely warm fuzzy feelings about people. However, John Piper writes, "Both of these words (in v. 10a), “love” and “brotherly affection,” are emotion-laden words. They ruin immediately the stoic, Christian notion that we don’t have to like people but we should love them." Harris challenges the young singles in his church to get to know each other primarily as brothers and sisters in Christ. He also challenges the notion that things necessarily have to be weird between a brother and a sister in Christ if romantic feelings develop between them.

So, Harris thinks that single men and women should get to know each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. To me, this idea sounds sort of like a glow-in-the-dark dog: a neat idea, but not practical. (Seriously, though, a dog that glows in the dark would be fricking awesome!) Romantic weirdness would inevitably get in the way of friendship. This is madness!

Madness? THIS IS BROTHERLY AFFECTION!

Thanks, Leonidas. I can always count on you for a well-reasoned rebuttal. Being brother and sister in Christ may be difficult, but as John Piper asks, "since when are the commands of God supposed to be doable in our own strength? 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible' (Matthew 19:26)." Also, many things about the Christian life are impractical. It was impractical for Jesus to come to earth in human form to live a perfect life and die for our sins. Also, God could have made a purely practical and utilitarian world, but he chose also to make it beautiful.

As always, feel free to chime in with your comments, rebuttals, and insults.